Tastless Science

We don't call this Skampcity and Totally Tastefree for nothin'....

Yesterday, I decided to see what would happen if, instead of spreading my ass cheeks apart to maybe quiet the Sound of Fart, I pushed them together to make it louder.  I stood in the living room, giggling my fool head off at the idea of it, and decided to find out.  Mp just looked at me like I was a crazy person (I am) and I could see his commitment wheels turning ("Am I seriously going to marry this woman?  This 35-year old woman who finds it completely and totally hilarious to see if she could make her ass even louder?  What the fuck am I thinking?!")  Well, I'm sad to report that smooshing yer cheeks together does NOT, in fact, make your fart louder.  All it does, really, is force the thing to come out from the path of least resistance.  I'll bet that at least one of you can guess where that path might lead.  Let's just say that.....instead of getting louder, my flatulence sounded more like deli meat being thrown against a wall.  Think about it.

Yep.

You're welcome.